When you know you can't help...
Monday, March 03, 2008
I find myself thinking about something today that I would honestly rather never have to think about at all. Someone I know made a phone call to set up an appointment to visit an abortion clinic. They are taking "the non-mother-to-be" in for a consultation and counseling session.
Now I know that both parties are responsible for taking precautions or abstaining, but I find myself in the uncomfortable [and unearned I assure you] position of feeling morally righteous about the "non-father-to-be" in this case. He frustrates me. Were guys always like this when I was younger and I didn't notice it because I wasn't drinking and sleeping around with them all in high school? This guy, oh let's be generous and say DATES 4 or 5 girls a week, sometimes 3 a day. He's young, good looking, charming when he wants to be (and he definitely does want to be when he's going in for the kill) and a local.
The dates he has are with girls from the ages of 14.5 to 28 so far as I know. I spoke with the young man and his group of friends several times but with zero effect other than getting myself called names I've never been called to my face in my life.
When they got into a fight and I was for some UNKNOWN reason asked by an officer of the law to accompany him to the dispute to help "calm things down" I was shocked. I found this man and his posse of friends, drunk, having driven a car into a field near someone's house and gotten it stuck up to the axels in mud. There was a girl with them who it turned out was sixteen. She was obviously smelling of booze and not walking well. I spoke to the police there and asked if they didn't find that odd and wasn't this a dry county and isn't she a bit underage to be out drinking especially with a group of horny drunken boys? He answered me "Ya, seems like she is at that." and did nothing.
I made a few phone calls after hearing this group of youngsters brag about how they got another sixteen year old girl drunk and drugged, then all took turns at her sometimes three at a time. And if this wasn't enough they peed on her afterwards and left her at someone's house, miles from home in that incapcitated state.
No one seems to care. The girls won't press charges, the boys think it's funny. The police say "as long as they don't drink THEN drive we look the other way". What kind of hell am I IN here? Is this the way it's always been and I just was blind as a bat or what?
Is this NORMAL behavior? These girls (and I do mean GIRLS) should have parents that care about them but instead they marry them off to SOMEONE who will take them at sixteen and they are divorced by eighteen with 2 kids and on welfare. Following in the family business I guess.
I feel really negative about this whole thing. I know it's not my business, it's not my baby they want to abort. I don't know the young woman in question, I know as soon as this is "handled" she will go looking for the "daddy" and want to be in his good graces again and on the floor doing whatever he wants when he wants because she has no sense of personal value.
It's impossible to ignore without substantially altering what I do and where I do it, and my efforts to help are not only unappreciated but unwanted. I guess I'm feeling rather down about the whole thing. I need to get my head right somehow, find a silver lining and pursue that to make a difference and not dwell on those I can't help. It just pains me to know he's had this "talk" now three times in a year, with three different girls, because "condoms are for losers." What a horrible thing to go through at any age. I can't imagine how hopeless it feels at sixteen or fifteen.
What ever happened to decent young men who valued their lady friends and expected them to value themselves? Are they really a forgotten breed?
All I can think is, some days the dragon wins. :(
I find myself thinking about something today that I would honestly rather never have to think about at all. Someone I know made a phone call to set up an appointment to visit an abortion clinic. They are taking "the non-mother-to-be" in for a consultation and counseling session.
Now I know that both parties are responsible for taking precautions or abstaining, but I find myself in the uncomfortable [and unearned I assure you] position of feeling morally righteous about the "non-father-to-be" in this case. He frustrates me. Were guys always like this when I was younger and I didn't notice it because I wasn't drinking and sleeping around with them all in high school? This guy, oh let's be generous and say DATES 4 or 5 girls a week, sometimes 3 a day. He's young, good looking, charming when he wants to be (and he definitely does want to be when he's going in for the kill) and a local.
The dates he has are with girls from the ages of 14.5 to 28 so far as I know. I spoke with the young man and his group of friends several times but with zero effect other than getting myself called names I've never been called to my face in my life.
When they got into a fight and I was for some UNKNOWN reason asked by an officer of the law to accompany him to the dispute to help "calm things down" I was shocked. I found this man and his posse of friends, drunk, having driven a car into a field near someone's house and gotten it stuck up to the axels in mud. There was a girl with them who it turned out was sixteen. She was obviously smelling of booze and not walking well. I spoke to the police there and asked if they didn't find that odd and wasn't this a dry county and isn't she a bit underage to be out drinking especially with a group of horny drunken boys? He answered me "Ya, seems like she is at that." and did nothing.
I made a few phone calls after hearing this group of youngsters brag about how they got another sixteen year old girl drunk and drugged, then all took turns at her sometimes three at a time. And if this wasn't enough they peed on her afterwards and left her at someone's house, miles from home in that incapcitated state.
No one seems to care. The girls won't press charges, the boys think it's funny. The police say "as long as they don't drink THEN drive we look the other way". What kind of hell am I IN here? Is this the way it's always been and I just was blind as a bat or what?
Is this NORMAL behavior? These girls (and I do mean GIRLS) should have parents that care about them but instead they marry them off to SOMEONE who will take them at sixteen and they are divorced by eighteen with 2 kids and on welfare. Following in the family business I guess.
I feel really negative about this whole thing. I know it's not my business, it's not my baby they want to abort. I don't know the young woman in question, I know as soon as this is "handled" she will go looking for the "daddy" and want to be in his good graces again and on the floor doing whatever he wants when he wants because she has no sense of personal value.
It's impossible to ignore without substantially altering what I do and where I do it, and my efforts to help are not only unappreciated but unwanted. I guess I'm feeling rather down about the whole thing. I need to get my head right somehow, find a silver lining and pursue that to make a difference and not dwell on those I can't help. It just pains me to know he's had this "talk" now three times in a year, with three different girls, because "condoms are for losers." What a horrible thing to go through at any age. I can't imagine how hopeless it feels at sixteen or fifteen.
What ever happened to decent young men who valued their lady friends and expected them to value themselves? Are they really a forgotten breed?
All I can think is, some days the dragon wins. :(
posted by Sinsual @ 8:18 PM
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