The Domino Effect

Yesterday a domino effect of things happened for me. First I was not feeling well, having worked outside for many hours in the rain to deal with fallen trees. So I didn't go out like I normally would have and spend as much time outside and in the barn. Second the miniature horses were "stuck" inside the tiny area together because they didn't like the sleet and hail. The lead mare picks on the other mare so the littler mare went under the suspended rabbit hutch to get away from her. Being under there I guess she got bored and started to scratch herself against the support posts. Normally it's not a problem as I reinforced all the posts up the middle and front because I knew they did that with them. BUT I didn't reinforce the posts against the wall because the screws in the upper area sort of do that.

So Duchess scratched til she pushed one of the back posts out of position which caused a major lack of support which caused another post to fail and pulls some of the screws out of the wall. (Its a huge heavy cage for them to play in and havea den on one end)

This causes the front top of the cage to go upwards at an angle and the bottom back of the cage to pull away from the wall. Which left a 1 ft. opening in the cage. Now normally that's not a problem for Roger, our bigger bunny. It happened once before but he's so afraid of the outside that he stayed in the cage. BUT I had put little black Pepper in there with him and that girl has never been afraid of anything because she was always loved, unlike Roger before we had him.

So pepper apparently takes this opportunity to run out of the cage and explore and either Roger followed his new and only friend at this point or was scared out of the cage later by the dog. The dog, Spaz, normally isn't outside by her lonesome for long either, but being as we have a guest here, he'd let her out without my knowing. When I realized she wasn't in the house and went to the door to call her I opened it and there I see my baby bunny trying to get back into the house (where she spent nearly all her life) just as the dog breaks her neck.
I tried to save her but couldn't. I tried putting her in warm water to avoid shock and toweled her and wrapped her but it was simply too late.

So I went outside after putting the dog in her kennel and found poor old white Roger laying in the stable on his side. I think he might have lived for a moment after I saw him because his eyes moved but that was all. I felt so bad.

So I laid the two of them together like they used to huddle in the hutch together with his big body protecting her little one and went to get the shovel. I dug a hole then made it bigger then bigger still as Roger was one big boy. The horses gathered around the hole, curious as always about what I was doing there at the back of the goat pen. The goats came to stand on the other side looking and bleating at me in query as well.

I went into the house and retrieved the little box I'd designed for Pepper to hide in and some of the hay from her cage inside. I took my time cleaning her again and preparing her like I would anyone I loved who had passed and needs this final respect and show of love. Roger wasn't sullied by his explorations except the bottom of his feet. So I simply brushed him down and closed his eyes for him.

Then I lay the hay in the bottom of the hole and laid big Roger on his left side, Pepper on her right facing him, and gently placed his right "arm" and leg over her little body. Then I placed her "hidey hole" box over the two of them. I put it there for two reasons really, one to protect her like it always had, like an offering of "home" to take with her on this journey a baby shouldn't have to take. And because it was big enough for her friend to share with her. She made him happy enough to dance in the last week they were together outside. He'd never done that before, the silly bunny leap and twist dance. I laughed when he did because he's a new zealander rabbit and quite large and it gave him the appearance of a sumo wrestler trying to pirouette. But it meant he was as happy as they get.

She did the leap and dance too, so pretty and quick so despite my misgivings about the variances in their sizes, I took her word for it that she was happy and let her remain outside. At least til that last morning, when I felt it was so cold I might take her back inside just for a few days. But when I opened the hutch and saw her so relaxed lying beside Roger with his head lying partly across her neck, I just couldn't take her away. So i left her there. Not knowing what would happen so soon.

I also felt it was practical to put the box across them to help keep their scent from attracting our dog or the neighbors. I want them to rest in peace. Together. I felt a bit like Rhett Butler when I did too, I couldn't stop thinking about how much I hated the thought of her getting cold. But I realized that it had to happen at least together they'd had a wonderful week of fun and closeness and now they had each other to continue the journey.

Some might think I'm over-reacting to the death of a few rabbits. But I've babied and cared for Roger for a year and a half, and I've had little Pepper for all but 10 days of her short life. In a few months I've grown to love her so. She trusted me so much and came to me of her own volition and snuggled with me and made me laugh so much with her antics. She was afterall a baby and very amusing.

I am so blessed she was in my life. I rescued her from a man who was going to kill her and only managed to give her a bit over 2 months of life, but she was happy and safe til that last hour. And she made Roger so happy in a way he hadn't been either. I found myself standing at the little grave saying a prayer that they be taken into whatever heaven little bunnies have and loved by one another. My little four legged prayer group standing around as well seeming to say their goodbyes then the little group breaking up as each went their separate ways.

I found myself thinking about John Edward's show where the mother says "Always Blessings, Never Losses" and tell myself, this is how I need to see this. No regretting that I didn't rebuild the cage when I thought to. No regretting not taking her inside. Not spending more time outside THAT day. Just take what they gave me and let it live within me.

I just wanted to share. Not to make anyone sad, but to witness for these silly loveable bunnies, that I cared and I feel their loss as I would anyone I love. Loving hurts sometimes, but I wouldn't give up a single second I had of it.

Be well everyone.
Love and blessings,